10 Things Adoptees Want You to Know

Number 9

Don't tell us that if our birth mothers loved us, they wouldn't have given us away.

My birth mother was only seventeen and as a minor she had little to say over the matter. She isn't the only one. My mother loved me very much and I lived in her heart nearly forty-one years till we found the way back to each other. Most birth mothers never forget the child they gave away. They remember us on our birthdays, holidays, and day-to-day. Adoptees were loved and will always be loved by their biological mothers (birth fathers are a separate issue, I won't go into here), so remember they had other reasons for giving us up for adoption, and not loving us isn't one of them.

Thoughts, please.

10 Things Adoptees Want You to Know

Due to the high holy days this is posting today instead of Monday.

Number 6

Don't tell us we're angry, we know it.

Wouldn't you be if all your rights to your history and heritage are not in your hands but in the hands of others who think they know better?

Back in the '50s when I was adopted was it really "in the best interest of the child," or "in the best interest of the biological mother," who most likely was a teen, a child herself.

Yes, adoptees are an angry bunch and our anger fuels our energy to press on for opening the gates to our history filed for so long in our sealed records.

Are your records sealed? How would you feel if they were? You ask if we're angry, shouldn't we be?

Your thoughts, please.

10 Things Adoptees Want You to Know

Number 3

Not all grass is greener on the other side.

Our biological side might not have been ideal for raising a child but not all adoptive sides are ideal either. I was lucky as many others are. I had wonderful adoptive parents. My birth mother's life wasn't easy. But look at the cases reported of abuse by adoptive parents or murder by adopted children. Situations happen and it's not because we're adoptees. Genetic mental issues can lead an 'adoptee' to murder, but can anyone say that the same person with the same predisposition would not have done the same had he been raised by his biological family? I don't think so, unless you can claim to be some kind of prophet.

What are your thoughts on this? Leave a comment below.

Have you heard? U.S. to join the Hague Adoption Convention

November is turning out to be a month of positive steps in the right direction on the Adoption arena. Breaking news this morning from the Department of State announced that it will deposit the instrument of ratification on Dec. 12th and an official announcement of the Convention going into effect in the U.S. will take place April 1st.

What this means for children awaiting adoption around the world is protection against corrupt practices such as abduction, sale of or traffic of these children. It also means that the adoption triad members will be assured of accountability and ethical practices by those involved in the adoption practice.